She called me like the third time this week; I was over the moon because I am only entitled to one call a week and also because today was the 14th of February.
“Shall we run away?” I asked her before she even spoke, before even thinking it could be her mother.
“You are out of your mind”, thank fully it was her.
“Why?”
“Because, if you don’t remember, we are already engaged”, she said with some mock anger.
“Yes, I remember how can I forget the 14th of October? The day I lost my freedom” I tried with some mock sadness.
There was some silence
“I would have laughed if you had actually said the correct date” she said after a pause.
There was plenty of silence before we spoke again.
“I actually thought I should send you some flowers today, you know like the filmi types” I tried starting a conversation.
“Oh my God, don’t even think of it” she said with out even a pause.
“I cannot do that? I cannot send flowers to the girl I am engaged to?” I retorted.
“No” “why?”
“Because you should not”
“And why is that?”
“I don’t know, because no one has ever sent me flowers before”
“Isn’t that the point?”
“Is it? I don’t know but I am scared”
“Scared of what, receiving flowers?
“No err yes”
“Oh! okay, I am sorry I am not sending you any flowers”
I heard a sigh of relief. “Better” she said.
“I am coming over myself with a big bunch of flowers tomorrow”
“Noooooo”
Another pause followed and again I had to kick start things..
“You know what? My sister is arranging our honey moon”
She did not say a thing
“She is getting tickets to Mauritius” not that I was serious.
“What is Mauritius?”
“It is an Island country down south, you know below Sri Lanka and Lakswadeep?” I wished I was right.
“I don’t know”
“What ever, we will start like two days after the marriage”
“nooooo”
“What?”
“noooo”
“Why?”
“Because I have never been on a plane before”
“So what? I have been on a plane only once”
“Why don’t you go alone?”
“Alone” “yes” “on our honeymoon” “yes”
“Wonderful” I needed a breather.
“Maha?” “Yes”
“Do you realize you have never been married before?”, I waited.
“Oh my god, no, I mean yes”
“And we are getting married this summer” I completed
“I am actually scared and ..”
“nooooo” this time it was me.
Theory of creativity.
What is with the advertisements on television these days?
Anyways I hate advertisements.
And there is this one channel that is being relayed in my place, it has advertisements all over it, you wouldn't believe me if I told you there was a song playing underneath.
and the creativity in advertisements these days seems to have touched the peak (or the trough take your pick). Men wooing women seems to be the only original plot the so called creative advertisement makers can at the most think of.
For instance, if you have this bike and even if you look like a pig without a snout and with hair women will invariably swarm around you like flies in a sty and especially for the gayest looking bike in the world. OMG!! the ad even went on to show a woman hiding her kids to stamp her singularity. Not one girl has ever looked at my bike, and in my place a lot of them seem to prefer bald men on those World War II Enfields.
Sample this one, you have a bottle of that cool looking I-only-take-it-for-gastritis soft drink and you will give the world gems like cheating on two girls at once or leave your friend with a dog while you play whatever with her.
Use not one but two body sprays that smell individually like some cheap whisky mixed with old dettol mixed with some washing powder mixed with some lemon flavor and see what happens, women will bump in to each other to get exactly the alien you wanted to bed. I can’t stand most women’s perfume by the way, especially the times when I share the lift ewwww.
Tooth paste, bah a bloody tooth paste can get you girls (police women in some cases) gorgeous than Scarlett. I. Johansson and none of them I have tried (I mean the tooth pastes) have even taken the stench of previous evening’s drink away, but you guess you will have to give it to the creative minds here, what a thought.
Cars, Watches, sun glasses, look-at-it-loose-your-eye-sight suits, chocolates and mint candies (ZOMG things that cost 50ps), condoms (why??), hair-gel, razors (Salman Rushdie is a living proof we don’t need razors and hair-gel, he just hit the nth hot girl of his life), underwear and there are still more single men in the world than you can ever imagine.
I am only thanking the world these things have not happened for itch-guard, ring guard, scissors (add your imagination here), cigarettes, ear buds and other filth that I am not going to word.
The next thing I am going to do is ask at least one girl what she feels after watching those creative master pieces and I am going to do it from a little distance, just in case…
Anyways I hate advertisements.
And there is this one channel that is being relayed in my place, it has advertisements all over it, you wouldn't believe me if I told you there was a song playing underneath.
and the creativity in advertisements these days seems to have touched the peak (or the trough take your pick). Men wooing women seems to be the only original plot the so called creative advertisement makers can at the most think of.
For instance, if you have this bike and even if you look like a pig without a snout and with hair women will invariably swarm around you like flies in a sty and especially for the gayest looking bike in the world. OMG!! the ad even went on to show a woman hiding her kids to stamp her singularity. Not one girl has ever looked at my bike, and in my place a lot of them seem to prefer bald men on those World War II Enfields.
Sample this one, you have a bottle of that cool looking I-only-take-it-for-gastritis soft drink and you will give the world gems like cheating on two girls at once or leave your friend with a dog while you play whatever with her.
Use not one but two body sprays that smell individually like some cheap whisky mixed with old dettol mixed with some washing powder mixed with some lemon flavor and see what happens, women will bump in to each other to get exactly the alien you wanted to bed. I can’t stand most women’s perfume by the way, especially the times when I share the lift ewwww.
Tooth paste, bah a bloody tooth paste can get you girls (police women in some cases) gorgeous than Scarlett. I. Johansson and none of them I have tried (I mean the tooth pastes) have even taken the stench of previous evening’s drink away, but you guess you will have to give it to the creative minds here, what a thought.
Cars, Watches, sun glasses, look-at-it-loose-your-eye-sight suits, chocolates and mint candies (ZOMG things that cost 50ps), condoms (why??), hair-gel, razors (Salman Rushdie is a living proof we don’t need razors and hair-gel, he just hit the nth hot girl of his life), underwear and there are still more single men in the world than you can ever imagine.
I am only thanking the world these things have not happened for itch-guard, ring guard, scissors (add your imagination here), cigarettes, ear buds and other filth that I am not going to word.
The next thing I am going to do is ask at least one girl what she feels after watching those creative master pieces and I am going to do it from a little distance, just in case…
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