Lead kindly light

"Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom,
lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
the distant scene; one step enough for me."

This beautiful song / hymn was always sung / played at my school farewell dinner, dinners for the passing out batch.

The dinner was an exotic multi-course, British style dinner. Appetizers, white bread, fish, soup, custard and sometimes Ice-cream, the menu had it all.

The dinner was followed by a traditional lighting of candles. The lights at the dining hall would be put out and each member of the staff would light candles held by the students of the passing out batch, who would then move on to light the candles of next batch.

This was when the song would be sung and the young men who traditionally scare the shit out of their juniors, would move around getting their candles lit and light other candles, crying. After all it was seven whole years at a residential school.

And outside the dining hall, in another one of those traditions the students of passing out batch would be tossed up the air, by their favorite juniors. It was my favorite part; I always wanted to be tossed up in the air.

I think I was in tears in my first year at school. Guess it’s the song, or because everyone around you is crying. I soon grew out of it, probably because I was in the choir that sang the song once and soon afterward I was in the school band playing trumpet, we played Lead Kindly Light and Auld Lang Syne repeatedly through the dinner and the ceremony afterward.

It was soon my farewell, I hadn't shed a tear in a long time nor had I helped toss anyone in the air. I was late for the dinner, I had no blazer one me as is the tradition and I had no place in the pool with my friends and had to take one of the normal tables. I sat at the table of my favorite teacher.

When I walked out of the dining hall after the ceremony, almost all of my friends were being tossed up; leaders, sportsmen, geeks, painters, dancers, gymnasts every one of them. For all that I was, I knew I had no favorite juniors but I stood there for a long time, before I decided to walk.

A small boy pushed himself through the crowd towards me, I think I had seen him somewhere, I mean like spoken to him or something, sometime, because I rarely did.

He gave me a small packet and told me I had always been an inspiration to him, he told me I taught him play the Bugle and the trumpet. I did not remember a moment, it had been years. He also told me he and his friends loved watching me talk on the stage. Was he lying? Because I had been like precisely three times on the stage for an oration in all seven years; but believing him made me feel good.

We walked to the where the band was, they were winding up. Almost all of them walked up to me to wish me luck. Though I had forgotten most of the notes, we played Lead kindly light for one last time, with the band.

That night I walked to the hostel with my arm around my new friend.
I think I knew what was it like being tossed up in the air, though it was by just one little boy.