Hotel Paranoia

The following events are not purely the outcome of a restless imaginary mind, but observed and summed real life events of a eerily repeating nature.

The only table that is empty whenever I walk in to this hotel is always beside these two software engineers.
'entra aa ammayiee ela...' geez i forgot to mention, they are almost always from Andhra pradesh.

To my right there’s always this lone woman cajoling and at times scaring her small child to eat. Her make up scares me.

For some reason my idea of an exquisite lunch never lingered far away from butter naans, Gobi Manchurian and rarely Malay kofta and today I opt for naans and Gobi Manchurian.

The stiff faced waiter is taking my orders like I interrupted his life.

In a while they walk in, the newly married couple, the guy is dark as always and sports this translucent white shirt with black pants and a shiny pair of black shoes complete with at least two gold rings on each hand, a gold plated wrist watch, a gold bracelet and a thick gold chain around his neck. The wife, she has this flashy saree on, with a zillion bangles on her hands, a slightly high heeled sandal and at least a kilogram of jewelry around her neck.

Why do all these women carry a small white, blue bordered hanky and keep wiping their mouth all the time? They sit in my watching distance, opposite to each other, the blah blahs go on, the loud and gabby husband and the sweet smiling, shy wife. I wish I see you in a year sweethearts.

Time to welcome the lovers now, dark boot-cut pants, an odd patterned shirt, shoes and the helmet, these Romeos they are all the same. Juliet always has this dull colored salwar on; at least she's better dressed than him, adorns a lot of flowers on her hair and wears high heeled footwear that makes noise on tiled floors. They always sit directly in a table front of me where I cannot miss them, they sit beside each other, like they are travelling in a general compartment of a long distance train.
I can only see them talking, I cannot hear them at all.

Walking, in almost what looks, like in a trot, grandpa enters the hotel impeccably dressed as always. I don’t know what these grampas do so neatly dressed and with shoes on a hot summer after noon and after all these years. Grampa starts to complain as soon as he is in, starting all his sentences with the phrase 'In those days/during those days' and looking at me for approval, what the heck?

My butter naans arrive after almost half an hour, the Gobi doesn’t taste like it tasted during my college days (jeez am i thinking like grampa ?) but they both cost a fortune now.

The software engineers don’t seem to agree on any thing, there’s lot of talk, heated talk.

The new wife's muffed laughter with her husband's 'i run this place' laughter, starts to get on my nerves now. I try to concentrate on my food or the friend in my table I had been ignoring till now.

I can’t help but watch hands clasp under the lovers table, my Beeeauuutiful eyes. Grampa is now on a bout of curd and rice that he seems to enjoy so much, so much to my disgust.

I try to look at my food, they seem to use too much of color on Gobi Manchurian, my stomach starts to hurt, I try to look at my friend, he is busy on his phone and his second naan.

The software engineers are now leaving but not without arguing on who’s paying the bill.

Grampa has cleaned up his plate and his fingers, starts to complain on the air conditioner being too close to the table.

The fruit juice, the lovers had ordered is only half empty and I seem to think they are exchanging glasses, now that’s divine.

The new weds are off to wash hands, holding hands, of course the clean ones..
I have only eaten one butter naan that comes in 2 pieces and I am already done, but I wait for my friend who orders an ice-cream.

The waiter in the brown safari suit is back closing the orders, as my Truman show totters to a close.

As I walkout, grampa smiles at me, the lovers seem to talk about me, the child is crying and the newly weds walk in front of me holding hands..

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now you have done it simple.

"Why do all these women carry a small white, blue bordered hanky and keep wiping their mouth all the time? "

Have you read "3 mistakes of my life" recently. Why because such dialogues are plent in his books.

:)

-TOMKID

Anonymous said...

Good for people to know.